There's a whole lot of random in this post. We are back to school in just a few weeks and while I will enjoy getting back into a routine, it's an odd feeling to return to "real life" after this summer of ups and downs and highs and lows. Many people have asked how we are doing and I can sum it up in one word: Okay. We are doing okay. We have our moments and my heart aches to hold Hadley one more time, but we are surviving. Together. We truly have been leaning on one another and slowly slowly slowly feeling more normal. It's a matter of coming to grips with the fact that there will always be a Hadley sized hole in our heart and discovering that it is in fact possible to live with a missing piece. Nothing will ever fill that void so we've got to make nice with it and learn to let it into our home and be with it.
I'm resorting to a good old fashioned list because that's how I roll....
1) I made homemade hummus yesterday and it was good, guys! I basically just eyeballed some chickpeas, olive oil, handfuls of spinach, lemon juice and garlic in the blender. I refuse to buy that tahini stuff to make real hummus but my modified recipe turned out well. The Steeles are trying to eat a little cleaner during the weekdays. Much more on that to come....
2) Back to School! I bought my teacher planner last week and turned up some tunes and sat with my sharpened pencils for a few hours and filled in the dates (and the breaks too, obviously). I don't want to jinx it, but I don't need to buy too much stuff this year, but was wondering if ya'll had the scoop on deals on Crayolas? I like to give them to my class at Christmas because by that point in the year, the paper is peeled off and we're coloring with nubs. Unacceptable.
3) Sunday morning we were planning on sleeping in but I woke up early and just felt like we needed to get ourselves to church. The message really spoke to me and I heard a quote I never heard before but it nearly knocked me out of my seat:
“Imagine yourself as a living house. God comes in to rebuild that house. At first, perhaps, you can understand what He is doing. He is getting the drains right and stopping the leaks in the roof and so on; you knew that those jobs needed doing and so you are not surprised. But presently He starts knocking the house about in a way that hurts abominably and does not seem to make any sense. What on earth is He up to? The explanation is that He is building quite a different house from the one you thought of - throwing out a new wing here, putting on an extra floor there, running up towers, making courtyards. You thought you were being made into a decent little cottage: but He is building a palace. He intends to come and live in it Himself.” -CS Lewis
I mean, come on! AJ and I had a plan drawn up for what our "house" would be like, but yes yes yes to all that figurative "remodeling." It's not an easy process, but I know the end result will be worth it. I'll be turning that quote over and over for a while. I just resonate with it.
4) BOOKS! I have a few pages left in "Eligible" and I love love loved it. Perfect for a trip or a poolside read. It's a modern retelling of Pride and Prejudice. I've never read the original, but now do I have to? (sorry Austen fans). I have two books in my queue to begin next. One, "Through the Eyes of a Lion," was recommended by our counselor about a pastor who lost his young daughter. It'll be an impactful read and I can't wait for it to speak to me. After that, I figure I'll need a light novel so "First Comes Love" from Emily Giffin is on deck.
5) Pokemon Go: Ok so I've never played and I won't knock those who do. You do you, I don't really care. BUT.....twice now I have seen Pokemon Go players stomping around my daughter's cemetery. I just cannot. Really?! I cannot imagine any of my sweet blog readers would do such a thing, but if you happen to see something like this, people politely remind others about manners and sacred spaces. Sheesh.
6) Married at First Sight begins again this week and thank goodness, because this season of The Bachelorette just isn't doing it for me. Jojo is boring and the amount of teasing and hairspray on male hair this season is just disturbing.
Have a happy week!